C(onfused)SF

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As I mentioned last week, I thought of the idea to take Operation Luna to CSF, yet Bella didn’t want to because she thought we would have enough already. We have a CSF meeting coming up, so I decided to text both Michelle and Bella again to ask if they wanted to do the drive through CSF, and added that I think any extra supplies can help. Michelle said it was a good idea, yet Bella still never gave a clear answer, hinting at waiting. I think it is weird that she wanted to do it through ASB but not CSF, just anyway to get supplies since we couldn’t do it through ASB. I had written an email to Mrs. Heydenrych, the CSF advisor, about the CSF meeting and topics I wanted to cover during the meeting, but I was waiting to see if Bella agreed before including the idea about Operation Luna as the first semester service project. She said that she would ask Mrs. Heydenrych at the meeting about it, but I had already told her that I needed to talk to Mrs. Heydenrych beforehand and plan the meeting. So, now that she seemed like she agreed as she was willing to talk about it, I decided to send my email. It was very weird though, because Bella then said she was sending an email as well. I thought this was very unnecessary, and just showed that she wants control and won’t trust others to handle tasks along the way. Seeing this, I again resolved to make sure I never make others feel this way, I want to show my trust in others and let them voice their opinion. When she gave us the page of our “job description,” I said great thanks, and I said maybe we can discuss this at our next meeting and make sure we all agree everything is equal and we all know what jobs we have. But, surprisingly, she shut me down, wouldn’t hear my opinion, and wanted it left exactly as she made it. Later today, after I looked over the descriptions, I felt like my role should include emailing companies to ask for discounts and finding the best companies and deals, and Michelle felt like she should also be handling media and more communication. Yet, Bella won’t let us discuss. Once again, I am learning from others on how to make myself a better person. I want to just try to keep working together and work through being treated poorly, since this project is important.

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